Alright, so it's been a long time since my last post but this summer I'm going to create a new habit of updating this frequently. Today's post is about the transition from school to home.
So I'll be the first to admit that while I'm at school my diabetes management is lackluster. I check my blood sugars semi-regularly (throughout the day, don't go crazy) and input carbs as I eat but my regiment doesn't get more detailed than that.
Summer break changes many things, including how I handle my diabetes. Keep in mind I do have a younger brother with type 1 and two loving parents who are used to being full-time diabetes managers for a 14 year old.
When I go home my management goes as follows:
Day 1-5: minimal blood glucose checks, maximum carb counting and inputting, medium lying to parents
Now parents, don't freak out at this whole "lying" thing I just admitted to. It's not detrimental to anyone. But when I come home my parents shift into maximum overdrive with nagging and reminding me to check, to carb, to not eat this and remember to eat that, that sometimes just nodding my head yes and pretending that I did half of the things they ask me about is easier. It won't hurt anyone if I didn't actually have a second helping of salad at dinner, or if I forgot to put in my carb count until I was already sitting down for a meal.
Day 5-7: medium blood glucose checks, maximum carb counting and inputting, maximum lying to parents
Okay this is the peak of the "yes, mom" phase. After reaching the end of the normal week away from school and at home, parents think they are once again in control of everything. Newsflash: I am going into my senior year of college and nine times out of ten the decisions I make and act upon are my own and because of me. That is not to diminish the love I have for my parents, it's simply a statement of fact. Regardless of my motivation and actual decisions, however, it is crucial for both my sanity and my mom's sanity at this phase to ensure that she believes that she is in control. So I play along and nod my head at appropriate times, of course.
It's also worth noting, however, that this is also the peak phase of annoyance at said reminders. I felt like a drone every time either of my parents asked what my number was or when was the last time I checked, and especially if they asked me how many carbs I put into my pump. I've been at this as long as you have, mom and dad, have some faith.
Day 7-10: medium BG checks, medium carb counting and inputting, medium lying to parents
Once the routine is found and annoyance is only simmering instead of boiling, the system gets better. I improve upon my BG checking because I have my brother to give an example to (note my habits don't change because of my parent's nagging), I keep up a similar routine of carb counting, and my lying turns to a steady medium where I pick and choose what to tell them, but they don't know I'm picking and choosing.
From here on out the summer typically switches between phases of day 5-7 and 7-10. Being at home certainly improves my diabetes care, which I appreciate, but it also sometimes makes my eye twitch.
Having not been home for the summer in over a year, I notice the change in patterns much more than I did before. The comments by my mom over the phone while I'm at school, while still grating, are appreciated a bit more. That's not to say that when having the conversation about "making sure you're having protein with dinner, especially when you're making complex carbs like pasta" when in reality I'm making top ramen in my microwave because I have a midterm to study for, I change my tune. I will definitely continue to blindly nod my head yes from time to time.
I am learning to adjust back into home life, however, and am appreciating the diabetes-related reminders more than hate them as the pattern progresses.
I'll keep you updated in the months to come!
Best,
Heather
Friday, May 13, 2016
Friday, November 6, 2015
November woes: how to handle free lunch in college
Diabetes is a daily struggle. I promise I won't fill your newsfeed with a sob story every day of the month, but today I was especially aware of the weight of my disease so I thought I would share.
So much goes into management that no one sees. In the 26 seconds 4-5 times a day it takes me to check my blood sugar, there is calculation and consideration of physical activity, food intake, emotional state, etc. Every time I eat something I think of the carbohydrates and longevity of insulin and future activity. Whenever I feel tired, or hyper, or especially melancholy, I consider my blood glucose level. No matter what I'm doing diabetes is in the back of my mind.
All of this came to mind this morning before I attended a special topics lecture during my lunch hour. Food was provided- something every college student gets excited about- and while I was trying to take notes in a history class I found myself instead thinkinga bout what they would serve, how many carbs I might eat, and whether I cwould need to bolus for the meal before heading up to the lecture. It had already been a long morning so I thought about whether they would provide soda and then of course how quickly I'd need to get up there in order to grab a diet Pepsi because there is always less diet than regular (clearly I was desperate for caffeine because I'm a diet coke girl through and through.) All of this distracting me in class because the advertisement said "food provided" instead of "sandwich bar with cookies to be served, 30-70 carbs per meal." Wouldn't that be nice.
Anyway I enjoyed the lecture and guestimated the carbohydrate count for the pizza and non-diet soda they provided fairly well,, but my morning really centered on my invisible disease. Thanks for reading, I hope this snippet of a day in the life helps some people see how 24/7 diabetes is. Happy Blue Friday!!
So much goes into management that no one sees. In the 26 seconds 4-5 times a day it takes me to check my blood sugar, there is calculation and consideration of physical activity, food intake, emotional state, etc. Every time I eat something I think of the carbohydrates and longevity of insulin and future activity. Whenever I feel tired, or hyper, or especially melancholy, I consider my blood glucose level. No matter what I'm doing diabetes is in the back of my mind.
All of this came to mind this morning before I attended a special topics lecture during my lunch hour. Food was provided- something every college student gets excited about- and while I was trying to take notes in a history class I found myself instead thinkinga bout what they would serve, how many carbs I might eat, and whether I cwould need to bolus for the meal before heading up to the lecture. It had already been a long morning so I thought about whether they would provide soda and then of course how quickly I'd need to get up there in order to grab a diet Pepsi because there is always less diet than regular (clearly I was desperate for caffeine because I'm a diet coke girl through and through.) All of this distracting me in class because the advertisement said "food provided" instead of "sandwich bar with cookies to be served, 30-70 carbs per meal." Wouldn't that be nice.
Anyway I enjoyed the lecture and guestimated the carbohydrate count for the pizza and non-diet soda they provided fairly well,, but my morning really centered on my invisible disease. Thanks for reading, I hope this snippet of a day in the life helps some people see how 24/7 diabetes is. Happy Blue Friday!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Low-key preparation
You know those days when everything seems to be happening at once? Your phone is about to die but you're in the middle of a conversation with your mom whom you haven't talked to in several days, while you're attempting to work on an assignment that only requires 15% of your attention so you can semi-effectively write while "hm"ing and "uh-hu"ing to your mom, and five of your friends just walked down the hall and are excited to see you because you've been MIA all day due to your full schedule. On top of it all you know that as soon as you finish the conversation with your mom you have to write a 4-5 page essay and save the world from ebola all while trying to balance your social life.
College is challenging in many ways, especially in the middle of a semester, but diabetes makes it far more complicated. Because while you're on the phone and typing on your computer and actively avoiding your loud friends in the hallway you start to feel shaky and everything starts moving in fast-motion. A cold sweat begins on the back of your neck and you can't do much about it at the moment, but you can feel a low blood sugar coming on. So you quickly finish up your conversation with your mom and pause in typing on your computer to grab a juicebox and packet of skittles, rolling your eyes at the irony of the perfectly imperfect timing of such an occurance. Of course I would go low right now.
That's the thing, though. Diabetes doesn't concede to your demanding schedule. I realized while I was dealing with my low BG this evening that complaining and crying about the woes of diabetes doesn't help deal with the problem at hand, nor does it keep the disease from inconveniencing me again. In fact I was lucky that I was in my room when it happened and had immediate access to my stash of juice and skittles, because if it had happened an hour earlier when I was running around campus the low blood sugar would've been far more dangerous. It's being prepared and knowing your body that helps with the lows, prevents them, and ensures that when the inevitable happens you're able to handle a drop below your target number no matter what life throws at you.
So this evening, after I had stopped shaking and had double-checked my blood sugar to make sure I was in the right range, I made sure that the next time it happened I would be equally prepared. I added a pack of skittles to the side pocket of my backpack and monitor case and made sure my gym bag had a juice box. I triple-checked that my glucagon was closeby and that my friends knew where it was.
While the situation was initially an inconvenient additional stress to the evening, I decided to take it as a reminder that being prepared makes treating a low blood sugar take only 15 minutes of waiting for the juice to kick in instead of an hour of popping skittles and checking that I had stopped shaking because it took me 15 minutes to find my supplies while I continued to drop.
For those of you who live busy lives like myself and are living with such a disease, I cannot stress the importance of preparedness. It's easy to forget, especially after living with the disease for so many years, how important such precautions can be. In our case it can be life or death, so double and triple checking everything every once in a while is for the better.
My diaversary was a couple of days ago, 11 years strong, so the importance of advocacy has been on my mind more than usual the past week or so. Knowing that your friends are prepared is just as important as your own preparedness- it doesn't do you any good to have skittles in your purse if your friends don't know where they are and you're imobile.
Anyway, I'll step off of my soap box now. Carry skittles.
Best,
Heather
College is challenging in many ways, especially in the middle of a semester, but diabetes makes it far more complicated. Because while you're on the phone and typing on your computer and actively avoiding your loud friends in the hallway you start to feel shaky and everything starts moving in fast-motion. A cold sweat begins on the back of your neck and you can't do much about it at the moment, but you can feel a low blood sugar coming on. So you quickly finish up your conversation with your mom and pause in typing on your computer to grab a juicebox and packet of skittles, rolling your eyes at the irony of the perfectly imperfect timing of such an occurance. Of course I would go low right now.
That's the thing, though. Diabetes doesn't concede to your demanding schedule. I realized while I was dealing with my low BG this evening that complaining and crying about the woes of diabetes doesn't help deal with the problem at hand, nor does it keep the disease from inconveniencing me again. In fact I was lucky that I was in my room when it happened and had immediate access to my stash of juice and skittles, because if it had happened an hour earlier when I was running around campus the low blood sugar would've been far more dangerous. It's being prepared and knowing your body that helps with the lows, prevents them, and ensures that when the inevitable happens you're able to handle a drop below your target number no matter what life throws at you.
So this evening, after I had stopped shaking and had double-checked my blood sugar to make sure I was in the right range, I made sure that the next time it happened I would be equally prepared. I added a pack of skittles to the side pocket of my backpack and monitor case and made sure my gym bag had a juice box. I triple-checked that my glucagon was closeby and that my friends knew where it was.
While the situation was initially an inconvenient additional stress to the evening, I decided to take it as a reminder that being prepared makes treating a low blood sugar take only 15 minutes of waiting for the juice to kick in instead of an hour of popping skittles and checking that I had stopped shaking because it took me 15 minutes to find my supplies while I continued to drop.
For those of you who live busy lives like myself and are living with such a disease, I cannot stress the importance of preparedness. It's easy to forget, especially after living with the disease for so many years, how important such precautions can be. In our case it can be life or death, so double and triple checking everything every once in a while is for the better.
My diaversary was a couple of days ago, 11 years strong, so the importance of advocacy has been on my mind more than usual the past week or so. Knowing that your friends are prepared is just as important as your own preparedness- it doesn't do you any good to have skittles in your purse if your friends don't know where they are and you're imobile.
Anyway, I'll step off of my soap box now. Carry skittles.
Best,
Heather
Thursday, January 15, 2015
The Highs and Lows of College Life
A day in the life
Pros and Cons of bringing your average blood sugar down:
Pros:
- lower A1C
- more energy
- higher metabolism
- healthier
- better circulation
- basically everything
Cons: feel like death the moment you hit 300
All of the doctors and all of the science regarding diabetes management tells us that a lower average blood glucose is good. People who live with the disease concur with science, thank god. However living with the disease is far more difficult than the doctors make it seem. Whenever something, even the most minuscule of things, changes in your life you’re hit with a surge of worry regarding the affect it might have on your blood sugar. Maybe not everyone with diabetes can attest to this feeling, but I definitely can.
Going back to school for spring semester, for example. I’ve been back for less than a week and my blood sugars have already seen dramatic changes. I've had more lows than I had my entire christmas break and I'm feeling more energized with the lower blood sugar average which is fantastic. This evening however I had a high blood sugar- not dangerous but not much higher than was normal during my winter break full of cookies- and felt lethargic, dehydrated, and nauseous to the point where I had to lie down in bed for an hour and focus on my breathing to keep from throwing up. To make matters worse I was just coming back from grilling up some delicious-smelling chicken in the community kitchen and all of the smells that followed me into the room were giving me a migraine. It was horrendous.
There’s nothing worse than dealing with a bad high blood sugar, and there’s nothing worse than having no one at school to vent to about it. Sure you could complain about feeling like utter crap but your non-diabetic friends are not going to understand why, or really feel for you, like someone who’s been in the exact same situation would. It’s really tough living with diabetes in college sometimes because it is an invisible disease and I feel bad complaining about it. I feel like a broken record when I go to my friends and pull out the “diabetes card” in conversation, but the unfortunate truth is the majority of my problems revolve around the disease. I’ve had diabetes for over a decade now and I have yet to perfect my treatment. It’s mobile and ever-present and often unpredictable, leaving you feeling lackluster whether you’re suffering from a high blood sugar or a low. There are not-so-pretty days dealing with diabetes and today was one of them for me. Thanks for reading my rant.
Best,
Heather
Monday, December 29, 2014
Sugar, spice, and everything nice: finding an adult endocrinologist
It's been a while I know, but I've decided that before the start of the year I'm going to write another post and then I can make it my new year's resolution to keep it up to date with all of the woes and wins of my life as a college student living with diabetes. This post is going to be a bit long just because there's a lot going on in my life relative to diabetes care.
As a twenty year old young woman, I am at the age where it is becoming less socially acceptable to have doctor appointments at Children's Hospital. It was a sad day when my endocrinologist pointed that out to me, but it's very much the truth. That being said, finding an endocrinologist is quite the task. There are factors that go into the search for an endocrinologist that do not go into finding, say, a dentist or a regular physician. There are even more factors dealing with the mobility of college life and the transition from home to wherever life may take me. These many factors create a long list of questions and a wild goose chase to find the mythical perfect adult endocrinologist that can fit in my pocket and go wherever I decide to go. Sadly, there is no such thing (trust me, I asked.)
It started with a list of names that my endocrinologist at Children's suggested. While I go to school about an hour south of Seattle it's still fairly close to where I live, so there was a pretty large demographic to cover in terms of private practices and other hospitals that may offer diabetes-related care. She gave me a list of people practicing medicine with the University of Washington, a few local practices that are closer to home, and a select few people who may be viable options closer to school. Then she assured me that I needn't be in a hurry to find a new doctor, but that I should ask around and do some research on who and what I'm looking for when I decide to make the transition.
Next came the phone calls. The endless ringing and holding and pressing buttons to get to a real person only to be directed to 12 different people before being sent back to the receptionist you first spoke to...that was the worst part of the whole process. It still is the worst part of any doctor's office, in my opinion. I had to call my regular physician, my insurance company, all of the doctors offices that I might be interested in and then repeat the process to make sure that the doctor was available, that he or she was covered by my insurance, and if I wanted to schedule a consultation that my doctor submitted a referral. Ugh, the process was torturous.
Before submitting a referral request I finally settled on a doctor that I wanted to sit down and talk with. That one doctor required a referral from my regular physician and my current endocrinologist, as well as confirmation that my insurance provider worked with the company she was associated with. Not only that, but the number of questions I need asked before I can settle on an endocrinologist can't really be answered over the phone by the receptionist. Thus, we schedule a consultation to discuss all of those important matters. This process began in August, when I was first given the list and started looking at my options, and I called to schedule a consultation at the end of November. My appointment is at the end of January.
However meeting with the potential endocrinologist will not be the end of my worries, because as I am a busy college student my A1C is sub-par and as my current endocrinologist pointed out, the doctor may judge my diabetes management soley on that number. If that were the case throughout the 11 years I've lived with diabetes god knows where my self-esteem may be; as I'm sure those of you reading this who are living with diabetes know, treatment is no exact science and I've had quite the roller coaster. So in order to be taken seriously by this new practitioner my A1C needs to be as close to perfect as I can get it in under a month.
Needless to say this long, drawn out process that I am still going through (I'm crossing my fingers that I like the practitioner; I really don't want to go through all of that again) isn't one I'd wish on my worst enemy, and yet it's a process that has to be done for most of us college-aged kids living with diabetes. For those of you who have already undergone this transitional process and have found an adult diabetes care specialist that they work well with, I commend you and I envy you. For those of you who are about to embark on the journey, may the odds be ever in your favor.
I'll keep you all updated with the progress in the Search for Heather's Endocrinologist in the weeks and months to come!
Best,
Heather
As a twenty year old young woman, I am at the age where it is becoming less socially acceptable to have doctor appointments at Children's Hospital. It was a sad day when my endocrinologist pointed that out to me, but it's very much the truth. That being said, finding an endocrinologist is quite the task. There are factors that go into the search for an endocrinologist that do not go into finding, say, a dentist or a regular physician. There are even more factors dealing with the mobility of college life and the transition from home to wherever life may take me. These many factors create a long list of questions and a wild goose chase to find the mythical perfect adult endocrinologist that can fit in my pocket and go wherever I decide to go. Sadly, there is no such thing (trust me, I asked.)
It started with a list of names that my endocrinologist at Children's suggested. While I go to school about an hour south of Seattle it's still fairly close to where I live, so there was a pretty large demographic to cover in terms of private practices and other hospitals that may offer diabetes-related care. She gave me a list of people practicing medicine with the University of Washington, a few local practices that are closer to home, and a select few people who may be viable options closer to school. Then she assured me that I needn't be in a hurry to find a new doctor, but that I should ask around and do some research on who and what I'm looking for when I decide to make the transition.
Next came the phone calls. The endless ringing and holding and pressing buttons to get to a real person only to be directed to 12 different people before being sent back to the receptionist you first spoke to...that was the worst part of the whole process. It still is the worst part of any doctor's office, in my opinion. I had to call my regular physician, my insurance company, all of the doctors offices that I might be interested in and then repeat the process to make sure that the doctor was available, that he or she was covered by my insurance, and if I wanted to schedule a consultation that my doctor submitted a referral. Ugh, the process was torturous.
Before submitting a referral request I finally settled on a doctor that I wanted to sit down and talk with. That one doctor required a referral from my regular physician and my current endocrinologist, as well as confirmation that my insurance provider worked with the company she was associated with. Not only that, but the number of questions I need asked before I can settle on an endocrinologist can't really be answered over the phone by the receptionist. Thus, we schedule a consultation to discuss all of those important matters. This process began in August, when I was first given the list and started looking at my options, and I called to schedule a consultation at the end of November. My appointment is at the end of January.
However meeting with the potential endocrinologist will not be the end of my worries, because as I am a busy college student my A1C is sub-par and as my current endocrinologist pointed out, the doctor may judge my diabetes management soley on that number. If that were the case throughout the 11 years I've lived with diabetes god knows where my self-esteem may be; as I'm sure those of you reading this who are living with diabetes know, treatment is no exact science and I've had quite the roller coaster. So in order to be taken seriously by this new practitioner my A1C needs to be as close to perfect as I can get it in under a month.
Needless to say this long, drawn out process that I am still going through (I'm crossing my fingers that I like the practitioner; I really don't want to go through all of that again) isn't one I'd wish on my worst enemy, and yet it's a process that has to be done for most of us college-aged kids living with diabetes. For those of you who have already undergone this transitional process and have found an adult diabetes care specialist that they work well with, I commend you and I envy you. For those of you who are about to embark on the journey, may the odds be ever in your favor.
I'll keep you all updated with the progress in the Search for Heather's Endocrinologist in the weeks and months to come!
Best,
Heather
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